Caregiving is an exhausting endeavor. Being responsible for another human who has their own life can be quite the task. There are appointments, therapies, tips to remember, behaviors to accommodate and much more. So why is it that so many caregivers are reluctant to ask for help or to accept help that has been offered?

There are several reasons, and more than we can list or identify here. There’s pride. There’s the notion that taking the time to explain to someone else how they can help would take longer than time they’d be able to actually help. There’s fear that if something goes wrong when someone is helping that it is your fault.

Allowing someone to come in and take over caregiving duties can be daunting. So if you’re having trouble accepting help, maybe start with peripheral tasks. If someone is offering help, but isn’t sure what that should do, have them stop by the grocery store for you, or pick up the dry cleaning. See if they’re willing to come over and just be with you and your caree for a meal – even better if they’re willing to cook!

Maybe once you see them handle a few of the simpler tasks, you can slowly show them more and more of the daily tasks it takes to be the caregiver of your caree. Keep in mind how important it is for you to take breaks from caregiving, for your own mental and physical health. And don’t forget that none of us is infallible – if you were temporarily incapable of doing your caregiving duties, is there someone who would be able to come in as your backup?

Accepting help isn’t about weakness – it’s about the strength to know your own limits and what’s best for you and your caree.