Tag Archives: children

Conflicts in Caregiving: Siblings

Posted by on January 22, 2015 under Caregiver Corner | Be the First to Comment

Caregiving familly

Several children are a joy in many families for a lot of reasons, but one of them is because the parents can relax, knowing it’s likely one of their kids will be able to take care of them in their old age. But this can also create conflicts later on, because with more children come more opinions about Mom and Dad’s later life.

Much advice has been given about having regular family meetings before care becomes necessary, and regularly after that. But oftentimes, people have so little time when they’re together for holidays or birthdays that a meeting (let alone a meeting about uncomfortable topics) just isn’t a priority. That’s where video-messaging can come in handy. While it’s possible to conduct meetings over the phone, having a video chat can make things a little easier since facial reactions can be seen. To schedule these video chats, try using Doodle, a scheduling website that’s easy to use.

Once you have a meeting time set, you should figure out what there is to discuss. If possible, a draft agenda should be sent out by the sibling that is the most involved in the parents’ care. If sent out early enough, replies can be sent by the others of what items they would like added or questions they would like addressed.

The siblings who are not caregiving should try their best to be at least peripherally involved in the decision processes. The more people who are actively participating, the less alone the main caregiver feels. This might prove difficult, as the main caregiver should still be making the day to day decisions, but it’s really just like how it is in all families: a balancing act of not hurting anyone’s feelings while doing what’s best.

Talking with Others about Your Special Needs Child

Posted by on October 20, 2014 under Caregiver Corner | Be the First to Comment

Those with special needs children may find it difficult to speak about their children the way others do

Whom you talk to about your special needs child is completely up to you. You may have coworkers who know you have a child, but little about them. Or someone you chat with at the coffee shop, but it just hasn’t come up yet. When and if you do tell these people about your child, what are the pieces of information to share?

Don’t feel the need to tell them the whole diagnosis
You can keep things simple when talking about your child’s diagnosis. You can say “they’re autistic” instead of telling them the details, or even just say “they’re on the spectrum.” You may remember all the things the doctor has said over the years, but your kid may have already grown out of some of those diagnoses. Only share information you’re comfortable with telling them.

Tell them the positive things, but only as much as you’d like
Maybe your child rode their bike for the first time last week, and you’d like to share that with a friend. Go right ahead! But you also don’t need to get too personal. Having a feeding tube removed may be incredible news to your family, but if you feel like it’s too much to get into with someone you don’t know very well, don’t worry about it. You can just say you had a really great weekend and leave it at that.

Don’t hide the realities: talk about the stress
ALL parents are stressed. Raising children is a stressful process. You don’t need to only talk about your child’s achievements and make every day sound like a miraculous one. Your friends, even those without kids, can relate to someone being stubborn. Denying the reality of the situation just means you take more of those stresses on to your shoulders, instead of sharing them and being able to laugh about them later.

Above all, stay in your comfort zone. Just because someone is sharing about their kid, doesn’t mean you have to share about yours. Or just because they’re not sharing, doesn’t mean you can’t tell them that you’re really proud/happy/frustrated with/enamored of your child. We here at TotalHomeCareSupplies.com would love to hear about your experiences talking with friends, family or acquaintances about your special needs child.